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Ethnocentrism Goes Better with Coke!

Ethnocentrism Goes Better with Coke!

cokeAs many of you will be aware, Coca Cola aired what turned out to be a rather controversial commercial during the Super Bowl a couple weekends ago. Now if you had been informed beforehand about an upcoming controversial Coke ad, you probably would have thought, “Oooh, so what’s the scandal? Scantily-clad women drinking Coke? Super gnarly violence followed by people drinking Coke? Gay midget conjoined twins drinking Coke?”

Hmmph. If only.

If only this ad were as tame as those things, but sorry, no such luck. I long wistfully for the day when I can once again live in an America where queer Siamese dwarfs were the worst thing I’d have to see during a football game, but alas, we as a culture have sunk to a whole new low. If you’ve got the stomach for it, have a look-see:

Insert bone-chilling shudder here. . . .

BuzzFeed has reported on the righteous anger that good, hard-working Americans are feeling due to Coca Cola’s betrayal of the Master Race. And I, for one, would like to echo the poignant sentiments of raiderbgirl, who opined, 

@CocaCola. How the fuck r u gonna have foreigners sing the our national anthem….lol

Ellowell indeed. And time would fail us to mine the depths of understanding just beneath the surface of this tweet from laxcutie14xoxox:

WHAT IS THIS TERRORIST HORSESHIT? #SPEAKAMERICAN

Truer words were never spoken. I mean, for crying out loud, Coke! “America the Beautiful” is our country’s national anthem, and as such, it deserves to be sung exclusively in American, not in terrorist tongues like French, Spanish, or Hebrew. And excuse me, but what’s with all the swarthy people in the ad? Umm, hello? Last I checked, America has always been a place for white people (and by “always,” I mean post-1492).

So anyway, goodbye Coca Cola. From now on, when I ingest harmful liquid chemicals while watching Africans play a game that evolved from a British sport on my Japanese TV, it’s going to be Pepsi. Why? Because I’m an American, that’s why.

6 Comments

  1. “My family has had problems with immigrants ever since we came to this country.” ~ Charles Emerson Winchester III

  2. Are you saying there’s something wrong with queer, Siamese dwarfs? (Just thought I’d beat the queer, Siamese dwarf coalition to the punch and point that out).

  3. Hahahaha! To both of you!

  4. Interesting how you inject race into a controversy that was mainly over language. You are the racist. Own it.

  5. Stoney,

    If you read the angry responses to this ad, you’ll see that they have mostly to do with the fact that non-white people’s languages are being used (no one got mad at the French, for example). So yes, it is a controversy over languages. But languages are objected to because of the race of those who sing in them.

    And BTW, it’s rather rude to show up here and call me a racist. You should consider treating people with a tad more charity and respect.

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